Podcast: CORN DOWN Prank Calls

You know how when you go to fast food places, they have way better napkins that they aren’t giving you? I know all about this, all too well. So what do you do? You upgrade your napkins, thats what you do. Mutli-Fold-Employee-Use-Only-Napkins exist, and you can have them, but only if you know to ask. … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 339: with Tim Dunigan as Captain Jonathan Power

What, actually, is the difference between a window and a door? Tough question. The answer is; nothing. There is no difference between a window and a door. This poses serious issues for whuppy and myself. First off, can’t find the door at all. Very unprofessional. Perhaps it’s not that we can’t find the door, maybe … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 338: with Doug Parker as Mega Man

Something was up with the audio in this CORNDOWN. It kept going silent. Pretty sure that’s not normal. Things aren’t just supposed to go silent. One thing that isn’t silent? The lawnmower; it’s going nuts. Wastedmemory is here this week, and he’s getting odd photos and videos of his KF Chicken products, and the staff … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 337: with Evan Peters as Jeffrey Dahmer

Managers at fast food places are supposed to have roadside assistance to protect the customers that travel through their drive thru. In this gripping episode of CORNDOWN, we expose businesses not maintaining this simple standard. It doesn’t really work as a premise. Whuppy and I dabble in getting our chickens put down, which works a … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 336: with Jim Varney as Ernest P. Worrell

This CORNDOWN picks up quickly. Then whuppy has an ongoing issue, and no one is doing anything to help. This persists for another forty minutes. Then we’re back to picking me up, it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, I don’t weigh that much. We also get some employees to wipe down. You … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 335: with Ben Stein as Economics Teacher

This is a bad episode; It’s covered in scum. There’s chicken scum, and scum on the buns. Whuppy tries to do a bit on the issue but it doesn’t work out due to packet loss. Scum, scum, scum. There’s scum everywhere. And I think they’re heating the buns? Whuppy also discovers if you say “coffee … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 334: with Nicolas Cage as Castor Troy/Sean Archer

I failed on this one, BIG TIME. First off, I failed to order, then whuppy failed to do a bunch of stuff. This most certainly does not meet my personal standards, and I am officially apologizing. Shortly after that, some animals got bit in the parking lot, which is not normal. There’s even a chance … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 333: with Hayley Mills as Miss Carrie Bliss

This is definitely a double pump’d episode. It starts off with some lost food, some old food, a display model, and setting it to all 9s, then we get into the double pumping. You can’t just let customers double pump like that. It’s bad for business. On top of that? I get chicken face, and … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 332: with Patrice O’Neal as T-Bone

It’s Mark’s last day, but not for the reason you might think. Things get dark. It’s whuppy’s fault. You gotta check on your inactive employees, not check your brakes in the drive thru. We also prevent bad brand association by taking food from homeless persons. That’s about when the employee puts their fingers in my … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 331: with Vincent D’Onofrio as Robert Goren

Why is it so hard to pay full price? It seems like they’re always forcing promotional discounts on you, and I hate it. It’s a really problem issue. Wastedmemory also discoveres you get in trouble with the police when you give chicken to children. And you go straight to jail if you give chicken to … Read moreThe CORDNOWN pt 330: with H. Jon Benjamin as Walter