Podcast: CORN DOWN Prank Calls

This one drifts from smoky basements to crumbling online identities. We kick things off with turkey bacon, home smokers, and a lot of weird cigarette gas complaints—some of which seem to involve store employees just absolutely refusing to acknowledge reality. wastedmemory digs into forgotten MySpace alternatives while snappy bakes insists on the existence of “vanilla … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 274: with Tommy Lee Jones as Harvey Dent/Two Face

This episode flies all over the place—literally. It opens with sleep tracking and mileage disputes, then dives into an ongoing saga about birds: healthy ones, loose ones, and whether or not they’re part of some larger plan. I take the lead on the bird logistics, while wastedmemory ends up dealing with weird “Do Not Disturb” … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 273: with Tim Allen as Scott Calvin

On this one, wuppy fills in for wastedmemory and really leans into some strange hospital logic and bee management techniques. I try to keep things on track with some fast food arguments and a few misunderstandings about who’s dead and what it costs. The whole show kind of spirals around leeches, bacteria, and whether or … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 272: with Will Sasso as Mark McGwire

This episode of CORNDOWN has a lot of energy—starting head first and sliding straight into the recurring saga of accidental fatherhood and surprise bathroom births. Wastedmemory helps drive some extremely uncomfortable conversations, especially around sex, smell, and I do some religion accomodations. We argue a lot about whether you’re supposed to load tip up front, … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 271: with Michael Jackson as Captain EO

This one’s got no wastedmemory but a lot of shampoo—like, a suspicious number of cartons—and way too many people hiding in bushes or punching walls for it to be normal. I try to deal with someone in the bushes around the property, repeatedly damaging the room, and a very specific Arby’s situation. ButtEye gets sent … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 270: with Mark Cuban as President Marcus Robbins

This episode of CORNDOWN starts with some hotel stress—trying not to get attacked, yelling in the lobby, and a room that apparently needs preheating before use. Wastedmemory handles some strange guest behavior and a little confused rat, and I get into a whole thing about whether or not you can insure a hotel room. There’s … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 269: with Kevin Bacon as Valentine McKee

On this CORNDOWN, I find myself caught in a cycle of discovering dead batteries. Wastedmemory helps escalate things by throwing in some battery ingestion and a genie lamp incident that doesn’t go well. There’s a lot of goop—chili, burger, and something from a grocery store. Calls drift into weird food behavior at fast food places, … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 266: with Charlie Sheen as Dex Dogtective

This CORNDOWN gets tangled in airport chaos and sticky situations, starting with me trying to explain a phone-based parking plan and somehow ending up in trouble over peanut butter. Wastedmemory jumps in repeatedly to back me up as the peanut butter gets scrutinized by police, government, and eventually even mail handlers. I get accused of … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 265: with Kevin Pollak as Mr. Bell

This CORNDOWN has me going to the hotel front desk with a new policy about strangulation that no one seems to want to enforce, even after I make a sign. Wastedmemory jumps in a bunch to help with a back-and-forth post it passing system between guests and employees. Bathroom candy happens a couple times, there’s … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 264: with Vanessa Hudgens as Candy

This batch is wild—gasoline barcodes, employee nipping, and taking entire rooms home. wastedmemory is deep in gasoline-related schemes, while bhenchodester tackles Dr Pepper malfunctions and pasta distribution. There’s also some serious concerns about staff harassment, secret codes, and questionable Uber usage. And of course, we’ve got Chickenmen and whatever “Good Like John” means. Definitely a … Read moreThe CORNDOWN pt 263: with Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta as Scáthach